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Toddler momming is weird.
One moment they’re dressed like an adorable little hipster drinking pretend coffee out of an espresso cup and you think your heart might explode, and the next they’re LITERALLY making you think you’re being held prisoner by a cartoon movie villain who has his finger on the red button but FOR SOME REASON just wants to converse in nonsensical terms about all the OTHER ways he can destroy you instead of ACTUALLY FINISHING THE JOB.
On that note 😂 you might have noticed that I will NEVER be that perfect “mom expert” folks can look up to as an example of – let’s be honest – what they’d be if they were just “better.” Nope. I’m the mom in the trenches WITH you, discovering baby poop under my fingernails.
This sh!t is HARD – and I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t have the most secure grip on it all.
The problem *I* see in parenting is NOT a lack of “good advice” circulating.
The problem I see is that we all THINK, whether we realize it or not, that we’re supposed to feel “OK.” And when we’re NOT OK, we feel like there’s something wrong with us. That we’re failing. That we’re not enough. That we’re not implementing all that “good advice” properly. We blame it on not having our sh!t together. If we were just BETTER PARENTS, the “OK” would come.
The root of this? We are trying to escape the “not OK” – the inherent discomfort of life – instead of embracing it as a sign we’re alive. The truth is, IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK. And – maybe most important – it’s ok to get ourselves some help when the “not OK” gets to be too much.
THAT’S what I’m passionate about. I want you to know you’re NOT alone in the “not OK.”
For that matter, I want you to know that ACKNOWLEDGING this sucks sometimes doesn’t mean you don’t love your child(ren) with every ounce of your being. Love is a process of challenges, victories, failures – a million of them a day – not a perfect state of being.
What if we all just realized that it’s OK to NOT be OK? And that we’re ALL in this together? Maybe it would clear some space for us to get out of our own heads and lean on each other in a meaningful, purposeful way.
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