Since I live in the country, I don’t often take the time to go fetch the things I need from “town.” I just can’t make the one-hour drive to “the city” right now. So, of course, I’ve been relying on Amazon. I get everything from my chicken crack to my leopard print duct tape (both extraordinarily useful on a homestead) delivered right to my door. I even got my worm farm there. They have my info saved, so I don’t have to even think about all the money I’m spending. Just click “pay now” and you’re done. (Ugh.)
This whole process of online ordering has helped me learn a lot about myself. A lot of things I didn’t expect, thanks to this section:
That is the section that tells me THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.
Why does the internet think I need this stuff?
(Maybe because it’s AWESOME?)
Here’s what the interwebz have suggested for me lately that have made me question my life. And my decision making. Because these are ALL saved in my shopping cart.
- A life-size inflatable DONKEY AIR PURIFIER. Need that. (Scroll down to the description to see how it works.)
- Pink moustaches FOR WOMEN. Because why do guys get to have all the fun?
(One reviewer said “these made me feel so feminine during Moustache March.” Sold.) - A Bill Clinton Corkscrew. (Link is probably not safe for work. Especially if you work at the DNC.)
- And, for my de-corked booze, some Redneck Wine Glasses (actually, these are pretty cool).
Don’t tell my husband, but we’re going to have nice, clean air at our upcoming wine tasting.
Thanks for reading, and happy shopping!
6 Responses
I get the Amazon thing. My UPS guy told me last week that I have an Amazon problem, and should probably look into joining some AA (Amazon Anonymous) group. I promptly told him that it is people like me that keep him in a job. 😉
Oh my gosh, that made my Friday many times better. I adore those wine glasses, and I definitely feel better knowing that donkey air purifiers exist. (Especially life-sized ones I can sit on!)
You know, the donkey might be able to double as a livestock guardian.
Haha – funny enough, that’s exactly how I ran across it. Looking for non-alive replicas of guard-type livestock I’m just not ready to own yet!
Holy hell this made my week. That.is.all.
Bill Clinton corkscrew….lolololol. In the works of you: Ohmagerd.