Perfect “pried egg” with roasted parsnips & bacon

So…since I came out as a “bad cook” you all have been exceedingly supportive. You’ve lavished upon me such little elegant compliments (name that quote) as “Wow! Looks like you’re actually a pretty GOOD cook!”
To this I say: thank you. And also, you have NO idea how many failures I endure between successes.
Between my last successful recipe and this one, I’ve burned down exactly six kitchens and nearly poisoned my dear husband seven hundred times. (He’s a trooper.)
When I share something with you, it’s that rare meal that turns out nice. Like this one!
What enabled me to make this meal tasty enough and attractive enough to warrant a photograph is a new concept I probably accidentally stole from someone else invented: the “pried egg,” made in a mason jar band.
I love eggs – always with a runny yolk – but I have major issues cooking them. It takes an average of five broken yolks for me to get one intact yolk, which I find exceedingly dumb. When I poach eggs, even with vinegar in the water, the whites go all stringy and they’re always either over- or under-done. When I fry eggs, they get all burn-y around the edges, and I don’t like that.
Don’t try to fix me. I love you, but this is who I am.
I bought some fancy-schmancy egg cooking ring things, and not ONCE have they worked. Even when greased, they seem to hang on to the whites like Real Housewives hang on to their fleeting youth. Observe the wreckage that results:

 
I finally threw them away, and it felt so good. I’m free!
So today, I tried something weird. I put an inch of water in my fry pan and heated it to steaming. I dropped a large mason jar ring into the water, cracked an egg inside, and covered the whole mess with a lid so the top could steam. It came out perfect – poached, but looking just like a perfectly fried egg – and the mason jar lid released the egg perfectly. Huzzah!
Since this is kind of a fried-poached cross, I shall call it “pried.” I know, that’s dumb. But again, this is who I am.
 

 
Here’s how I assembled this meal.

Perfect “pried egg” with roasted parsnips & bacon 

Serves one.

What you need & what to do:

3 large parsnips
2 Tbs. coconut oil or ghee
bacon to taste
eggs (always #EatTheYolks)
For the roasted parsnips…

• Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.
• Peel and evenly chop 3 large parsnips. Since I’m supremely lazy, I use a Vidalia Chop thingy. It’s fun because I get to slap-chop stuff instead of knife-chop, which means I’m more likely to end up with all my fingertips. And all the pieces come out perfectly even.
• Toss the chopped parsnips in melted coconut oil. Spread across a pan – make sure there’s enough room that the parsnips roast and don’t steam. Roast at 400 degrees for 30 minutes, checking to be sure they brown but don’t burn.

Then, make bacon. 
Then, make eggs according to my directions above.
Combine and enjoy. I added some browned garlic and Red Alaea Salt at the end.

I wish I could say these were eggs from our homestead chickens, but those ladies are really holding out on us. Grr.
Enjoy! And – since you know I’m a bad cook – feel free to let me know (in the comments below) how I got it wrong or how I could have done better.
Thanks for reading!