Homesteading: meet the wildlife

Although I’ve spent the first few weeks in our new homestead holed up inside avoiding the ticks working on finishing my book (it WILL come out this year! Writing is HARRRRD, youguyyys!) I’ve still had ample opportunity to become acquainted with the insane amount of random wildlife that hangs out around our house.
I kinda thought buying land would just mean buying land. More grass, some chickens and lots of porch sitting.
(Cue the universe laughing in my face.)
(And then striking down a tree to drive home the point.)

 
This has been a transition filled with the unexpected, both weather-wise (two worst words in the English Language: flooded. basement.) and wildlife-wise.
We have a barn cat who serenades us nightly from its…erm…studio (??) with the delicate sounds of mangled trumpets at an American Idol cast-off party. (Eventually I’ll get it on video and all of our eardrums can be scarred for life.)
 

 
This barn cat, for the record, is a total hussy (or hustler, as we haven’t yet ascertained its gender). While we haven’t discovered any kittens yet, we have witnesses many of its “dates” hanging around the porch swing.
I do have some sympathy for this cat, as it can’t be easy bein’ sleazy. I’ve been feeding it intermittently with some wet food mixed with a little of this food-grade diatomaceous earth (for worms) and some herbal goodness from the famous Molly’s Herbals to try to keep it as healthy as possible (we also use the herbal wormer for our goats). If it’s gonna hang out on my porch, I’d prefer it not bring its hussy-cat diseases with it.
And it has thanked me many times over the best way it knows how: by regurgitating mouse carcasses across our front porch. (Hopefully they’re de-wormed mouse carcasses.)
Now, we knew from the beginning that there’d be barn cats. But after this weekend’s wind and storms, we’ve found a few of the most unexpected and random living things I could have imagined.
This is why we never go barefoot outside: there are dinosaurs in our yard.

Actually, it’s a common snapping turtle. I guess it’s not “unexpected” in the sense that I didn’t think these relics existed around here. That’d be like moving to a golf course in Florida and being surprised about the alligators.

It’s unexpected in the sense that…I didn’t expect it. Idunno. I like to be prepared for everything. I like to be the one who waits for the known rather than the unknown. I’d rather say “hey, let’s go outside and look for turtles!” rather than “wow! I just had my pinkie toe snapped off by a turtle!”

Pinkie toes are very important. Without them, we’d have nothing to make putting on Vibram Fivefingers impossible.

And speaking of the random and unexpected…this morning I found a tiny lobster on our patio.

I was watching Barn Cat from the kitchen window. It was playing with a large blob of leaves that had fallen during the storms. Then, the blob of leaves began punching Barn Cat with its pinchers.

“That foliage has claws!” I thought to myself. And then I sent a text to my husband. It said: we’re moving.

Not really.

It’s just a crayfish, but how the heck did it get on my patio? And do I lose my Paleo-card if I don’t eat it?

Argh.

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12 Responses

  1. Liz,
    I love reading your blog, and boy do i miss you! Thanks for the laugh, and you get a pass on crawfish snacks.

  2. I’m very jelous too, being a city girl I always dreamed to have my own farm (prolly cause I dont know how much stink/work/exhaustion it costs) and the fact that in the country I now live with 460 people per square meter it is impossible to have one if you dont have a small fortune… America is so rich with land… love your homesteding posts!!

  3. Great post! I love following your homesteading adventures (mainly because I’m seriously jealous!). You definitely get a pass on the crawfish – there’s not nearly enough meat for a predator such as yourself 🙂
    …the snapping turtle, though, that’s where your card gets revoked!
    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Do you use the flea free on your dog? Does it work for ticks? I have this natural spray I used on my dogs for ticks but it’s not working so great so I’d love another recommendation for a natural tick product I can use on them. Any suggestions would be great!

    1. I work for a vet that incorporates homeopathic and alternative medicines with conventional medicine. For our clients that want to avoid chemicals for their pups and stick to natural flea and tick preventatives we recommend Buck Mountain’s Parasite Dust. They love it.

  5. Hilarious! Yet also informative….
    I wish you would do a podcast just dedicated to homesteading! That would be awesome 🙂

  6. Crawfish are good eating! Of course, you need way more than one to make a good meal! Your posts (and podcasts) always make me laugh and are full of great info. Thanks!

  7. Keep notes, because when you recover from writing your current book, your next book should be homesteading for newbies. Seriously. All that goes into it that people don’t expect, or is different from what they expect. Love reading your take on it and living vicariously. I’m a girl from Queens, NY, and the only wildlife I saw growing up was pigeons, squirrels, and stray cats. There’s a part of me that would love to have some chickens and goats. It’s so fun reading about your experiences.

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