Don’t bring the vegetable loaf: party treats 101 (or, how to bring treats to a party without making everyone hate you)

 

There are certain things that are simply NOT socially acceptable. Like this. And especially this:

 

If you've ever been a member of a church, military community, or book club; if you've ever had a job, an email address, or a dentist's appointment; you've probably been invited (or e-vited) to a holiday party.

And since there's always a catch…you've probably been asked to bring something edible with you. And that something is likely NOT a vegetable loaf.

When I'm assigned an appetizer or a main dish, I always breathe a sigh of relief. Everyone loves a good charcuterie plate or mini (gluten free) meatballs. Prosciutto-wrapped melon balls are always good. Ya know, anything you can stab with a toothpick.

But when I'm assigned a dessert…I feel like this:

Because I can't tell people that meat IS an appetizer, a main dish, AND a dessert, for cripe's sake, I've got to come up with something yummy. Something that's not beef, bacon or butter. And something that I actually like eating. (Because if you don't eat your own dish, people will think you're trying to poison them.)

I don't live in a Paleo bubble. Many of my friends and acquaintances don't even know I'm a closet loincloth-wearer. I don't believe in foisting my food choices upon others who are just there to eat, drink, and be merry. But I also don't want to be the girl who abstains from all party-eating because my likes and dislikes aren't always in-line with others'. I don't want to be drenched in, like, Canola Oil at the Christmas Party prom (name that movie reference) because everybody things I'm weird. I want to bring something yummy that I also want to eat.

Unfortunately, I've exhausted the (amazing, incredible, fudgy, delicious) Ditch the Wheat's Flourless Brownie party trick. It's time to add to my repertoire. These are the treats on my party menu this season.

#1: Bacon-wrapped dates.

These are super easy. Grab some pitted dates, stuff with a pecan or goat cheese, wrap in a strip of quality bacon and secure with a wooden toothpick. Bake on a rack on top of a cookie sheet (so the bacon drippings fall away) at 400 degrees for 20-30 minutes (you may  have to play with timing, depending on how crispy you like your bacon).

I recommend stuffing the dates with something soft. Pecans are easily chewable. If you stuff them with tougher nuts, like almonds, folks may freak out that they've bit down on a pit. Nobody wants a broken tooth for Christmas.

 

#2: Roasted plantain with cinnamon

I think bananas are devil spawn, but I absolutely love plantains. Choose the ones that are turning black and feel soft. Peel and slice, drizzle with coconut oil and cinnamon, and bake on parchment paper for 20 minutes at 400 degrees. They are amazing dipped in coconut whipped cream. People will go nuts for these. They will hoard them and squirrel away in the corner and the party will get weird. And that's how you know you're at a great party.

 

And finally, #3: The most amazing cookies in the world. Also known as: Cappello's gluten-free slice & bake cookies by Primal Palate.

So…the world of grain-free enjoyment just got a million times better.

Bill and Hayley of Primal Palate got together with the grain-free geniuses at Cappello's and put together a delicious, convenient, delicious, did I mention delicious, screw-up-proof slice & bake cookie dough. If you can keep from eating it straight from the roll (I couldn't) you will end up with some incredible, chewy-yet-biteable chocolate chip cookies.

You know that perfect balance between a nice, crisp cookie and a perfectly soft, melty, chewy center? These are it.

These are well worth the holiday investment.

 

Be sure to share your holiday yummy favorites in the comments! And if you think this Public Service Announcement post could help someone you care about, feel free to tweet it, pin it, and facebook it! I'd be ever so grateful.

Thanks for reading!